Do you get anxious about the idea of approaching a domme and wonder if you’ll be written off before you’ve even got started?
If you’ve ever felt that way about me, I want to share the main 4 things that help me to determine whether I want to play with a potential sub or a casual pet. Hopefully this reassures those good boys to come and explore their kinks with me, and I’m also hoping this filters out people that are not right for me.
Let’s dive in:
1. I love when you’ve done your research. When you ‘get’ me, know what I’m into and something has resonated with you to the point that you want to find out more, and approach clearly telling me why from all the dommes on twitter you’ve come to me. This is the single most important thing- your domme shouldn’t be interchangeable if you’re looking for a D/s relationship, and if you’re simply looking for casual play, you should know why you’re motivated to come to me rather than someone else too.
If you’re not sure where this info is… my site has a ton of info (including a handful of blogs about my favourite kinks), my twitter is posted to near daily, I’ve got a huge bank of answers on my curious cat, and I have 2 Onlyfans. A quick browse of any of these is going to give you enough insight to work out if I’m right for you or not.
2. I want you to know yourself. Saying you’re into everything isn’t sexy, it’s lazy. Saying you will do anything I want reads that you’re inexperienced or think that my being a hypnodomme also makes me a mindreader. We’re all learning what we like in kink all the time so if you don’t have an exhaustive list, that’s understandable, but we all have cravings and limits. In line with point one, your kinks should be a good fit with mine; you should know this if you’ve done your research.
In this vein, it’s good to know if you’re wanting a D/s relationship or something casual (or a casual set up that has the fantasy of a deep relationship woven in); more as an FYI for me to pace or for play, but good for you to understand yourself and your kink.
3. Paying me is a privilege and you understand that. Payment is non-negotiable: it’s irrelevant that you are a finsub or not, my time is not free and there’s nothing you can do to tempt me into playing with you for free, so please don’t attempt it. I get so few time wasters reaching out to me but I can still spot someone doing their utmost to avoid tribute. Good Boy 101: Respect my time and my vast talents.
4. Respectful, honest boys are the best boys. Whether it’s play or a relationship, you’re dealing with a person rather than a fetish dispenser and I won’t accept being spoken to disrespectfully, or accept any excuses for choosing to not communicate in a way that’s reasonable. This is play (even when it’s deeply real) and it really should feel fun and beautiful – but for us both, not just the person paying. I don’t want to work around personality problems because you need to be trained to be a good person before I take over to make you a good sub for me. Poor experiences mean that I don’t give second chances without exceptional circumstances so your best bet is to simply be respectful from the off.